Does anybody out there know a cure for tiredness? I'm not talking about being exhausted at the end of a long day - I'm talking about being 55 and just not feeling peppy. Instead of being able to bounce around to various tasks and pleasures morning afternoon and evening I now find that I'm lucky if I can get one project kicked along a little bit before I start to feel like the day is over. Oh - I exercise. I swim several times a week and I have good wind and stamina in the pool. And yet with each year a certain esprit gets a little harder to find. The idea of foreign travel now seems unbelievably exhausting. The very notion of standing in security lines and finding hotels in strange cities is depressing rather than invigorating. And while I've always had an eye for a pretty girl, even though I'm happily married, I now find that when I look at them they just seem like trouble. I imagine their demands and entreaties, the endless business of making them happy, placating their moods, dealing with their mothers.... The game, in other words, doesn't seem worth the candle. I used to get excited over the idea of writing another book, painting a picture, doing some woodwork in the basement or going out to a party and yapping with a pile of people. And I still enjoy some of these pursuits from time to time. But it's less and not quite the same. I assume that it's all just age and I keep hoping to find an upside. Wisdom? Doesn't seem likely.
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